Well it's been fun over the past year, but i'm going to bring Son of Kermode to an end. It's just another website to be writing stuff for and I haven't had time to give it my full attention over the past couple of months - also I got a mention on Kermode and Mayo's Review of the Year on BBC Radio Fivelive and that really is the top for me. It's been brilliant to bring you my opinions on all the crap that gets put out for eye and mind consumption and you can still see my reviews at:
Chatroom Starring: Aaron Johnson, Imogen Poots, Matthew Beard Director: Hideo Nakata Rating: 1 (out of 5)
Summary: When five teenagers meet online, innocent friendships are forged. However, one dysfunctional member, increasingly drawn to the darker side of the online world, singles out the most vulnerable in the group and seizes the chance to erase his own past...
Think back to those halcyon days of school. Where the classroom was a melting pot of sexual tension, adolescent angst and insecurities were manifest in biting irreverence. Now remember what happened when a new teacher came into the mix. Maybe that teacher "listened" to the same music as you, wore the same clothes, had a cool haircut and tried to be your friend, but it just didn't sit right and eventually you thought that teacher was a dick. Well, this film is that dick and there are major problems in its hideous and condescending attempt to be relevant to the teenagers it's obviously aiming for. First up is the Skins lite edginess and cast, with "hot property" Aaron Johnson skulking around his parents plush Chelsea flat with all the intensity of a misanthropic Kevin the Teenager (how's that for a pop culture reference?), cutting himself in a vain attempt for attention and dishing out online psycho babble to his chatroom buddies which even the most naive acne ridden teen would struggle to fall for. The performances whether they be from the young cast or elder statesman are poor to the point of panto. Believe me, this is only a £100,000 production budget away from the emotional resonance and acting prowess of a Hollyoaks episode.
Secondly is the concept of a chatroom being at the cutting edge of the social networking zeitgeist. You might as well be using carrier pigeons as the communication of evil. Who still uses them? Is this a parallel world where a movie about the creation of Friends Reunited is Oscar bound? Things have moved on and Chatroom is stuck in the last millennium and trying to dress its self up in Topshop clothing to get into the cool hipster club.
Director Hideo Nakata, he of original J Horror classics such as Ringu and Dark Water, seems unable to add any tension to playwright Enda Walsh's laboured, cliche ridden script - which I only assume was butchered from the original stage source. Sure Nakata occasionally harks back to his horror roots with some streaming online suicides which are played for obvious shocks and there are some initially interesting attempts to gel the real world with the online which ultimately feel too statically theatrical for a film adaptation but with this, and his US remake of Ring 2, he's sullied a career that was well respected. In fact after sitting through 80 minutes of Chatroom I felt like one of Ringu's cursed video tape victims - and I even had a similar horrfically shocked expression on my face.
Control. Alt. Delete. This is dialup cinema for the digital broadband age.
Black Swan Starring: Natalie Portman, Vincent Cassel, Barbara Hershey, Mila Kunis Director: Darren Aronofsky Rating: 5 (out of 5)
Summary: Ballerina Nina (Portman) seems destined to be part of the company rather than the lead. But when Prima Ballerina Beth Mcintyre (Winona Ryder) retires, Nina is identified as her natural replacement for the new production of Swan Lake. However, new dancer Lily (Kunis) is seen as the ideal Black Swan and a twisted rivalry and friendship begins...
Black Swan is a masterpiece. Pure and simple. Aronofsky, who has again and again shown himself to be a good director, has taken a step up to the level of genius auteur. As with his previous films such as The Wrestler and Requiem for a Dream he deals with themes such as obsessive impulse and masochistic behaviour but this time fuses them into an Argento inspired, bombastic ballet body horror.
Fantastically whilst Aronofsky stamps his artistic authority all over the place, he is still able to allow the actors to develop and flourish in the atmosphere he has created. In particular former Star Wars Princess and paedo baiting assassin Natalie Portman gives an performance as Nina that quietly but intensely screams awards. As she explores her body and reaches the limits of psychological endurance, Portman's naive and fragile physicality is put on display for the camera in nearly every frame. It's a fearless and brave portrayal that deserves the plaudits.
However, the supporting performances from luminaries such as the long forgotten Barbara Hershey, Vincent Cassel as the sexed up director of Swan Lake, ex teen Queen Winona Ryder (with a slight nod to her own under fulfilled career) and even Family Guy's Meg Mila Kunis are up there competing with Portman in every frame they share. Hershey especially plays unhinged Mother with a scary glee and jealousy in her eyes.
As Nina's mind (and body) begins to unravel before our eyes, Black Swan enters a paranoid, half whispered nightmare of a world which has nods to Polanski's Rosemary's Baby in the way that it leaves the audience with an almost sickening feeling of dread and Nina with no sense of her own reality. As the pace quickens and each ballerina's twists and turns are held lovingly by Aronofsky's eye, the film culminates into a dizzying and thrilling final 20 minutes that is all at once outlandish, OTT and utterly captivating from beginning to end.
Everything about Black Swan works. The pacing is perfect, all the performances hit the right note and Aronofsky has created a film which will be regarded as a classic for a long time to come. This really is a director at the very top of his game in almost every respect. As with his previous films there are horrific elements that will leave your average Royal Opera House goer spitting out their expensive red, but as a film about the degradation of a human being in their pursuit of perfection it manages to achieve that with a staggering arrogance and swagger.
UK Release: 21st January 2011 US: Currently on a limited run in major cities before wide expansion
Catfish Starring: Yaniv Schulman, Megan Faccio, Ariel Schulman Director: Henry Joost, Ariel Schulman Rating: 4 (out of 5)
Summary: In late 2007, filmmakers Ariel Schulman and Henry Joost sensed a story unfolding as they began to film the life of Ariel's brother, Nev. They had no idea that their project would lead to the most exhilarating and unsettling months of their lives...
To reveal too much about Catfish would be to its detriment. It's a film where nothing is what it seems, where reality and fiction blend seamlessly and where your knowledge level is better off being at zilch. But if you do watch Catfish on a double bill with The Social Network, you'll see the actions and consequences of building the biggest social networking phenomenon of all time - because if the former was Facebook Frankenstein then the latter is certainly the monster unleashed and creating havoc.
Starting off as a documentary about an up and coming New York photographer and his online relationship with a painting child prodigy as she reproduces his photos in oils, the film takes a number of dark twists, turns and becomes so much more as the documented story unfolds. Equally creepy as it is depressingly sad, it's as if someone took the lyrics of Phil Oakley's seminal eighties classic "Together in Electric Dreams", made Radiohead do a cover and then managed to create a coherent narrative out of the resulting musical abortion.
Comparisons can, and have, been made with "Capturing the Friedmans", another documentary where the dark truth, revealed quite unwittingly, was more riveting that the initial purpose of the piece. With Catfish, the hand held camera also studies the mundane reality of modern everyday life such as constant keyboard tapping and phone conversations but manages to keep up when the truth becomes something out of the ordinary. Most importantly it's able to make it as riveting as any Hollywood drama and create a world where nothing and nobody is as they seem - whether that be online or face to face. Believe me this is a real achievement in the expanding faux documentary genre. But despite it's occasional flourishes, Directors Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman have been at pains to convince audiences that this is not a fake; perhaps keeping that idea of blurred reality going beyond it's release date. Personally, I'm undecided. There are moments where everything about the story seems so fantastically convenient and melodramatic - but still engaging - that the cynic in you feels duped. For instance the final 20 minutes at the home of Megan Faccio or the unnerving quality of the spooky desolate farmhouse. But most importantly none of the characters on screen feel directed or false at any point.
Perhaps it's as the old saying goes "there's nowt queer as folk", and the gallery of unusual and detached individuals that crop up in Catfish live up to that old adage in a heartbreakingly real and riveting way. OUT 17th December
Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale Starring: Per Christian Ellefsen, Onni Tommila, Peeter Jakobi Director: Jalmari Helander Rating: 3 (out of 5)
Summary: In the depths of the Korvanturi Mountains, 486 metres deep, lies the closest guarded secret of Christmas. The time has come to dig it up! This Christmas everyone will believe in Santa Claus...
Rare Exports is one of those films that defies a simple conversational description. It's unlike any Christmas film you've seen before and most likely will again, and leaves you slightly befuddled. I mean, what can you say about a film that includes a chase scene between a 10 year old holding on to helicopter and 200 naked octogenarians?
Something that is obvious amongst all the snowbound mayhem is Exports subversive and successful depiction of the Santa Claus mythology. Depicting him as a child hoarding demon buried deep within an almost fairytale mountain, the screenwriters aren't slaves to Santa convention and even add a late in the game twist that reinvigours the film in the last half hour. The "rules" surrounding this back story mean the film makers can add quirky touches, such as radiators and the stolen hairdryers of the local ladies being used to thaw out the bearded anti-hero, giving the audience appropriate and timely laughs amongst the fearful hushed whispers of the villagers on screen.
Also adding gravitas to proceedings are the cast of child actors, especially Onni Tommila as Santa fearing Pietari. They all give fantastic, comically sweet turns as industrious heroes and sobbing victims alike. Taking arms, disobeying the rules and coming of age in a hostile environment, they're the resourceful, brave kids you remember from the films of yesteryear.
When striped to the core and exposed, at it's very heart its the tale of childhood innocence winning out over the adult cynicism - just as every Christmas movie should be - but this central theme is unable to develop fully under the weight of the unusual pacing, changes in tone and the director's inability to settle on a theme and stick. To use a Christmas metaphor (it is December after all) the chaos of what's up on screen is akin to receiving a Michael McIntyre DVD for a present - not as funny and clever as it thinks it is or needs to be. There are also no stand out, stocking dropping moments. Of course its unusual, strange and twisted but it's lack of subtlety from beginning to end, coupled with a number of undercooked central characters - usually the adults - mean that you never really feel anything above the occasional smirk and mild interest in how the story will pan out for those involved. Rare by name, rare by nature. Exports is a mish mash of horror, comedy, adventure, coming of age tale and Christmas flick that's enthused with a typical Scandinavian dark quirkiness but ultimately fails to wrap them into a anything other than a wannabe cult movie package. OUT 3rd December
Well it's been fun over the past year, but i'm going to bring Son of Kermode to an end. It's just another website to be writing stuff for and I haven't had time to give it my full attention over the past couple of months - also I got a mention on Kermode and Mayo's Review of the Year on BBC Radio Fivelive and that really is the top for me. It's been brilliant to bring you my opinions on all the crap that gets put out for eye and mind consumption and you can still see my reviews at: