The end is the beginning is the end...

Clash of the Titans
Starring: Sam Worthington, Liam Neeson, Gemma Arteton, Ralph Fiennes
Director: Louis Leterrier
Rating: 1 (out of 5)

Summary: The half god son of Zeus, Perseus, is pulled into a battle between his immortal father and Hades for the very souls of mankind...

The first big film of the summer blockbuster season and it's a cinema hot dog i.e. under cooked, bloated and full of absolute arse. Clash of the Titans simply smacks of a film that had its release date as set in stone as a Medusa victim, and thusly the rushed nature of such a venture is clearly up there on the screen in an overblown collage of poorly executed set pieces, painful exposition, awfully hammy acting and incomplete CGI.

Is there any point on wasting the electrical impulses in my brain to think and write about Titans? A film that stoops so low that it rips off the absymal Mummy Returns? No. There is no point. They didn't bother thinking about the components that make a fun summer blockbusting romp so move along. I will however mention the following in bullet points, and I really hate bullet points:

- Sam Worthington's Australian accent. It just doesn't sit well.

- Danny Huston's blink and you'll miss it appearance as Poseiden. What was the point?

- The shield made of scorpion armour which is impervious to metals, even though it was easily broken with a sword 10 minutes previously.

- The comedy Middle Eastern sidekicks.

Please don't think ill of me for not putting much effort into this review. Think ill of Louis Leterrier and Warner Brothers for making me do it and don't waste your cash.